When the sun hits the water... beautiful!

why it’s so important to love yourself

Do you want to live a happy life?

Do you want to attract the perfect lover?

Or do you want people to start treating you with respect?

Hanging out somewhere I LOVE- the beach!

One of the best things you can do to live a happy life, attract the perfect lover or have people treat you with respect is by loving yourself.

My tattoo on one foot: ever saint has a past

 

I believe that to properly love yourself, you need to really connect with yourself.

You can achieve this through  mindfulness, remember this post?

Before I ever had a connection with myself, I lose sight of myself and what really mattered to me.

I was more concerned with taking care of everyone else’s needs that I wasn’t paying attention to my own needs.

I wasn’t paying attention what felt right and what didn’t.

I spent 4 years in an unstable, toxic relationship because I didn’t think that I could be with anyone else. I ignored the red flags. I let him lie, lie, lie and ( kinda ) cheat. He was extremely selfish, so everything was about him. And I was fine with it. I basically let him do whatever he wanted. I definitely would put up a fight, but always fell back into the same routine.

Before AND after that relationship, I attracted terrible guys. They were either liars, cheaters, unambitious or just borderline psycho.

I didn’t pay attention to what food I ate. My energy levels were always fluctuating and I would either feel blah or bloated.

 

I was friends with some pretty shitty people. I’d been screwed over plenty of times.

When I really started to connect with myself and love myself, all of these problems suddenly weren’t problems anymore.

I ended that 4 year relationship because I knew that I deserved better. I knew what I was worth.

I started going on dates with successful, ambitious men that were genuinely good guys.

I started paying attention to what I was putting into my body. I started eating nutritious food and seeing what felt right and what didn’t. I even realized I was lactose intolerant! (which also may have taken me a while because I don’t consume dairy often)

My group of friends completely shifted. The people that I started to hang out with made me feel good about myself. They inspired me to be a better person. I had friends that were there for me and that I trusted. I didn’t worry about things they would do or say behind my back.

Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.

 

Maybe you’re wondering… where should you start?

I’ll tell you what worked for me.

Looking down at the sand (or my phone! lol)

Listen to your body

Pay attention to what foods make you feel good and what doesn’t. This really helped me make huge changes to my diet. As much as I love Mike N Ikes, they make me feel shitty if I eat a whole box of them, so I’ll just have a few. I feel best in the morning when I have a breakfast with a lot of carbs. Listening to my body actually caused me to lose weight because I gravitated towards the foods the healthy foods that made me feel good.

Trust your instincts

This one is so, so important. Instead of ignoring red flags, listen to your gut. If it’s telling you that something isn’t right, it’s probably not. You have instincts for a reason, use them.

Do what makes YOU happy, not what makes THEM happy

When’s the last thing you did something you LOVED? Don’t miss out on life’s experiences. Make time for yourself. Have your me-time. With work, school and life, I always feel like I’m on the go. One of my favorite things to do right now is just hang out at home with Nala and Dylan and read. It’s so simple, but I LOVE it. It’s a great way for me to recharge.

Don’t just do things people other people want you to. As a people pleaser, I know it’s SO hard sometimes, but if you really don’t want to do something, don’t do it. Learn to say no. I used to have a problem with being super flakey because I would agree to things that I just really didn’t want to do. Then I’d go to whatever the event was and spend the whole time wishing I was anywhere else. What’s the fun in that? Don’t waste your time, energy or money. Just say no the first time.

Don’t let FOMO dictate your decisions

Oh, FOMO. Fear of missing out.

We’ve all been there.

But remember this: you probably aren’t missing out on much.

There will be other girls nights. There will be other parties. There will be other dinners.

I have a hectic schedule. Like I said earlier, I’m always on the go. So to be real, when I do finally have some free time, the thought of having to go out and socialize with people just sounds exhausting. There are times that nothing sounds better than doing nothing.

Weed through the people that bring negativity into your life

This is SO important. The people in your life have so much to do with your overall happiness.

Negative people are such a drag.

If you have someone in your life that’s always bringing you down, you should really reevaluate your relationship with that person and decide if they really add any value to your life. When I started to see that some of the people in my life were bringing me down, I cut ties with them and suddenly my world got a whole lot brighter.

SLOOOWWW DOWN !

To maintain sanity, it’s crucial to slow down.

Take a breather.

If you’re constantly go, go, go without getting any rest, you’re going to burn yourself out ( and if you’re anything like me, you’ll get cranky and lose motivation ) You’ll feel it physically too. Your muscles will tense up, low energy levels, you already know what I’m talking about.

 

Allow your mind, body and soul to recharge. You will be much more productive this way. Slowing down will help you appreciate the things in your life more. You’ll have the energy to get your other tasks done. You won’t be so irritable. Overall, you’ll feel better.

When the sun hits the water... beautiful!

So tell me, what do you think?

Comment below or email me at hello@poisedreflections.com

I’d love to hear from you!

xo

Nicole

 

5 Comments

  • Reply Wendy Sprous | Moments For "Me" April 12, 2017 at 12:44 pm

    Love your story! I am finding many of the same correlations in my life now that I am changing my focus to me. I’ve lost 15 lbs over the past few months! I’m rediscovering what I like by trying new things. I have a great group of supportive friends! Definitely worth making the change in my life.
    http://www.momentsformeonline.com

    • Reply nicoleking April 12, 2017 at 9:15 pm

      Hi Wendy! Congratulations on the weight loss & I am so happy that you have a group of supportive friends because I really believe that that can make all the difference 🙂 <3

  • Reply Natasha April 13, 2017 at 1:10 am

    Right on!! I was also in a far too long-lasting relationship with someone who lied and cheated. I let him and others tell me who I was was somehow ‘wrong’ and the tI needed to change to ‘fit in.’ Looking back, the only explanation is that I didn’t respect myself enough to get out sooner. Forget anything I learned in classes – saying no and sticking up for myself were absolutely the most valuable things I’ve learned in life!

    • Reply nicoleking April 13, 2017 at 10:00 pm

      Yeah girl that’s right !! You get SO much more out of life once you realize this! Right on <3

  • Reply Cutting Dairy Out Of My Diet: Why I'm Doing It & Why You Should Too » poised reflections April 23, 2017 at 10:56 pm

    […] mentioned how I think I’m lactose intolerant in my last post, but didn’t really elaborate, so here I […]

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