I tend to get myself into sticky situations. I also seem to overcomplicate these situations and run to all of my friends for advice on what to do, when the only thing they need to tell me is this: follow your intuition. Most of these problems I get myself into could have been completely avoided if I were to have just listened to my gut.
Getting myself into shitty situations is nothing new to me.
Actually, I think I’ve perfected it.
Part of the problem is that I do whatever the fuck I want.
The other part is that I do what I think other people want me to do.
I know that it’s so important to trust to your intuition, but half the time I find myself so concerned about other people that I neglect to listen to my gut.
A: “convince” myself to make an entirely different decision than what my intuition is telling me. ( And by “convince” I mean come up with a million different things until I come up with one that’s good enough ) or
B: Do what I think everyone else wants me to do.
I’m a people pleaser. This is not something I’m proud of. I’ve made plenty of bad decisions because I thought it would be better for someone else.
And sometimes I think… what the fuck am I doing?
I’ve learned ( and learned again ) that as much as you don’t want to hurt someone, sometimes it’s inevitable. You can’t protect everyone. At the end of the day your number one should always be you.
Like don’t turn down a promotion because you feel bad that your co-worker didn’t receive one too. Don’t stay in a relationship you’re not happy in because you’re afraid of hurting your partner.
The why is simple here: the only person you’re hurting is yourself.
It’s so difficult to turn off the noise of the world. This is why I try to practice mindful thinking and meditation. These practices will allow you to take a look inward and come to realizations that might be overlooked otherwise.
Maybe you didn’t decide because you were worried about someone else. Maybe you made a decision because society made it seem like that’s what you wanted to do. I’m curious… what did your gut tell you?
I’ve missed out on a lot of great opportunities because I went with the choice that I thought was right based off what society was telling me. ( Even though my gut was telling me something else ). I’ve ignored my intuition far too many times.
Usually, my intuition is correct. And even if it’s wrong, I’m happier knowing that I went with the option that made me happy.
And on the other side of the spectrum, I do whatever I want.
I know it sounds contradictory, but sometimes I know I shouldn’t be doing something, but I’ll do it anyway. This can get me into trouble too.
It’s easy. There are times that I do what I want despite knowing that I’m going to get hurt.
Take dating, for example. There was this one man that I got involved with knowing that he was shady. I knew that he was a huge flirt, but I didn’t care. I was doing what I wanted to. I was ignoring my instinct telling me, “STOP!”
Even when it was freaking SO OBVIOUS that this guy was hooking up with half of the town we lived in, I chose to ignore it. When I would ask about girls that commented on his social media, he would say that they were just friends or that she was joking. Even when there were no visible signs of flirting with other girls, my gut was telling me something wasn’t right. I still chose to ignore it. ( OK OK, I know you’re probably thinking that this goes beyond following my intuition and just goes into being plain stupid. We all makes mistakes! lol )
Fast forward a few months and I’m drunk and crying in the backseat of a car because my heart got broken. What a surprise ( facepalm / eye roll / shakes head )
If I were to have listened to my gut feeling, I wouldn’t have let things get as far as they did. I wouldn’t have had to deal with all the lies and the drama. Not only did I allow myself to get hurt, I wasted so much of my time. I knew that things were going to play out the way they did, but I chose to ignore my intuition and hope for the best. LOL … so naive.
To start following your intuition, you need to stop doubting yourself.
It’s as simple as it sounds. You have to trust yourself. If you don’t trust yourself, you’ll just trust what everyone else is telling you. And truth be told, your friends and family aren’t always right. Stop allowing fear to hold you back from the choices that will make you happy. After all, who knows what’s best for you more than you?
Be honest with yourself.
I know how easy it is to ignore your feelings. But STOP! This is your happiness we’re talking about here. When you make decisions based off what you think other people want you to do or because you’re fearful of what could happen, you’re doing yourself a disservice. Your feelings are there for a reason. If you listen to your feelings, you’ll find that they will guide you to do what’s best for you.
This is probably singlehandedly the best way to start hearing your intuition. Mindfulness involves being aware of what’s happening in the present moment. Practicing mindfulness allows you to fully experience what’s happening in the current moment.
When you practice mindfulness, it’s pretty hard to ignore your intuition. It’s hard to doubt how you really feel because you’re so aware of what is going on.
Find what gives you clarity and do that.
For me, that’s writing. I will either handwrite in my journal or I will open up a word document and just write.
Writing in a journal is the best way for me to express myself. It’s where I can let out all of my thoughts and emotions without being judged. After I let it all out, I read over what I wrote and reflect. I’ll look at the bigger picture. I’ll ask myself if I think I’m being dramatic ( it happens ) or if these feelings are real.
Writing in a journal is also a good way for me to document my feelings. It’s allowed my to look back at past situations and reflect on the result of whatever was happening at the time.
Let’s take a past relationship for example. Whenever I would get overwhelmed with emotion, I would write a letter to him and I would say EVERYTHING that was on my mind. I would write about how much it hurt when he did a certain thing or about how I overall felt about the relationship. I never actually showed him these letters, but after a while, I looked back at these letters and saw that I was saying the same things over and over again. I started to realize that our problems weren’t going anywhere. No matter how much we had tried to talk through things, we just were not meant to be together.
I could have stayed in denial. I could have kept telling myself that everything was okay and that it was just a rough patch. But how many rough patches do you have to have before enough is enough? My gut had been telling me for months that the relationship was over, but I kept ignoring it. I kept making excuses for his behavior. It wasn’t until I had a meltdown one night and read over past journal entries that I realized that I should have been listening to myself all along.
With the way that the world is now, it’s so easy to lose sight of yourself. We’re told that things should be a certain way. With social media, opinions are shared LOUD AND CLEAR. And sometimes other people are so persuasive that they can make you second guess your own feelings.
I’ll say it again… KNOCK IT OFF! Stop ignoring your feelings. Your intuition is there to guide you. Stop allowing fear to hold you back. Don’t try to protect other people from getting hurt. You need to look after you. You can do this by following your intuition, it’s there for a reason.
It’s time for me to do a last minute review for my final tonight. I’m so close to summer break, I can taste that margarita I’ll be sippin on. YUM